Žygimantas Kudirka
Objectum Sexuality, 2019

Synopsis of a fictional radio broadcast (40 min):

“Preach the Beach” is a sketch constructed entirely out of movies about beach names.
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A mysterious caller constantly interrupts the broadcast and reads excerpts from the novel Crash by
J. G. Ballard.
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News broadcast about: 
the ethics of robots and the opportunity to get mechanical body;
the mind of electrons, neutrinos, a glass of water and a potted plant;
the Native American belief in consciousness of rocks;
our projections onto the stock market or cars as conscious beings;
an image of eyes glued on belongings that protect against thieves;
a state of awareness possessed by the non-living things;
how eggs and yoghurt react to threats;
our sexual attraction towards inanimate objects.
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A poem by Žygimantas Kudirka about the intelligence of wind. 
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A car ad constructed out of 35 car ads.
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The “Three Questions of the Day” show (three experts answer three questions):
Can you lose your virginity by having sex with a non-living thing?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to food?
Do rocks have feelings?
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The “Today’s Name Days” show announces the names that people have given to their belongings.
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The “Just Married” show includes: 
a teenager who married his smartphone;
an Australian woman who married a bridge in France;
a woman who married the Berlin Wall;
a man who married a woman from Nintendo;
a female church organist who married a rollercoaster;
a man who married a steam engine train;
a man who married his self-portrait;
a man who was refused permission to marry his computer;
the German sexologist Volkmar Sigusch unravels the mysteries of objectum sexuality.

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A furniture ad constructed out of 14 furniture ads.
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The “Movie On the Radio” show including audio excerpts from the movies Her and Castaway.
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The “Objects to Adore” show includes excerpts from Tender Buttons [Objects] by Gertrude Stein.
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A computer ad constructed out of 12 computer ads.
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“The Dating Show” features a coat, a saxophone, a pillow, an umbrella, a couch cushion, high heels and a shaver.

All soundtracks (including jingles) are made from the remixes of one and the same song: Vilniaus Energija – Autopilot Car (Lith. Bepilotė mašina).

Characters:
Host of the show Ziggi Q – Žygimantas Kudirka
Mysterious caller – Richard Ashe
News announcer #1 – text-to-speech voice Aditi, Female
News announcer #2 – text-to-speech voice Amy, Female
Weather announcer – text-to-speech voice Geraint, Male
Car ad voice – James Holmes
“Three Questions of the Day” show host #1 – text-to-speech voice Joey, Male
“Three Questions of the Day” show host #2 – text-to-speech voice Matthew, Male
“Three Questions of the Day” show expert #1 – text-to-speech voice Emma, Female
“Three Questions of the Day” show expert #2 – text-to-speech voice Brian, Male
“Three Questions of the Day” show expert #3 – text-to-speech voice Amy, Female
“Today’s Name Days” show guest #1 – text-to-speech voice Justin, Male
“Today’s Name Days” show guest #2 – text-to-speech voice Matthew, Male
“Today’s Name Days” show guest #3 – text-to-speech voice Ivy, Female
“Today’s Name Days” show guest #4 – text-to-speech voice Kendra, Female
“Today’s Name Days” show guest #5 – text-to-speech voice Kimberly, Female
“Just Married” show host – text-to-speech voice Kimberly, Female
A teenager who married his smartphone – text-to-speech voice Justin, Male
An Australian woman who married a bridge – text-to-speech voice Nicole, Female
A woman who married Berlin Wall – text-to-speech voice Raveena, Female
A female church organist who married a rollercoaster – text-to-speech voice Salli, Female
A man who married a steam engine train – Tracy Turner 
A man who married his self-portrait – text-to-speech voice Brian, Male
Utah county clerk – text-to-speech voice Brian, Male
German sexologist Volkmar Sigusch – text-to-speech voice Brian, Male
Furniture ad voice – text-to-speech voice Geraint, Male
“Movie On the Radio” show host #1 – James Holmes
“Movie On the Radio” show host #2 text-to-speech voice Matthew, Male
“Objects to Adore” show host – Žygimantas Kudirka
Computer ad voice – text-to-speech voice Ivy, Female
“The Dating Show” host – Žygimantas Kudirka
Coat – text-to-speech voice Geraint, Male
Saxophone – text-to-speech voice Brian, Male
Pillow – text-to-speech voice Amy, Female
Umbrella – text-to-speech voice Russell, Male
Couch cushion – text-to-speech voice Geraint, Male
High heels – text-to-speech voice Salli, Female
Shaver – text-to-speech voice Matthew, Male